Is being right or knowing the truth more important to you?
One of the most common issues of the present is the desire to be right all the time. A competitive state of mind; on which most of our societies; are built upon. Although winning and being right may be satisfying, many of us fall into the temptation of it. The desire to always be on the winning side no matter what, even if we know what we believe in: is not the truth or the fact.
How often do you find yourself in a defensive position during an argument? How often do you defend yourself just for the sake of not being wrong? Do you accept input from specific sources without questioning them, or do you question everything you hear or see? Do you question; why you interpret the information you receive the way you do?
I have known people who admit that even if they know they are wrong, they will continue their attempts to come out victorious. It is more about being victorious in a debate than actually exploring the truth. It seems; kind of silly and childish. Don’t you think? As juvenile as it may seem, this kind of behavior is much more common than you would think, and frankly, we can easily find ourselves doing it sometimes.
The human brain is like a massive vault of information and the most energy-consuming organ. Working 24/7, most of the time, it is constantly evaluating input it receives from our eyes, ears, skin, mouth, and nose. The amount of data it works with is enormous, which is why it has ways to minimize its energy consumption; by creating shortcuts. Each time we experience something, our brains create a pathway for that input. The more we repeat the experience, the more embedded the mentioned pathway becomes and the less energy it will require to access that input. Actions that we do, without having too much thought on how we do them; all fit in this category. Our thinking patterns are also similarly formed. Conclusions we reach are also similarly accessed after a certain amount of repetition.
Our brains cannot differentiate the quality of information; good, bad, helpful, or harmful, it is all input for them. Unless we exercise to think further into exact topics, our brains will accept the information easiest to access, which is the one we previously consumed on the matter. This thinking pattern not only makes you believe what you have previously learned is correct: (Which, by the way, might be, given the previous circumstances) but, if you are not careful, prevents you from accepting new information that overlaps the previous statements.
Finding shortcuts to action and thought is the way the brain prefers to work. The only way to get a different result is to consciously exercise a different pattern of thinking, meaning extra work. :) Thinking is hard work, and if we do not insist on doing it, our brains will not do it themselves. Once we have a conclusion on a topic, we can go back and effortlessly access it. This mode of thinking can mislead us to believe the information we have is correct at all times.
The feeling of being right all the time creates another desire due to the responsibility of the righteous position we have claimed. After we have proven to be more knowledgeable in the group or conversation, we must hold this position, for others to like us. The desire to be accepted and approved by others; social acceptance. Along with this desire comes the fear of looking stupid in front of others.
No one likes to be wrong or criticized by others. When others point out our flaws and mistakes, we tend to point the finger at others or circumstances, avoiding responsibility. There is, however, a point that most of us miss in this context. The more we don’t own up to our mistakes, point the finger, and don’t take responsibility for our actions and words, the less we are respected by others. It is counterintuitive. We fear looking stupid and try to mask our mistakes but look silly while doing so.
Along with many other philosophers, talking less and listening (thinking) more is a practice promoted by the Stoics. Although ironic, most philosophy schools tended to claim their way of thinking to be the only correct way. :)
Insisting something is 100% correct is a serious claim, to say the least. The world we know exists only in the context we can experience it. Other creatures tend to experience the world in a completely different way. Just because we cannot see, feel, hear or smell something does not mean it is nonexistent. Our reality is what we can experience; meaning someone else's perspective can also be true.
The feeling of being on the winning side of things is a highly seductive desire; due to its nature, it leads to misjudgment and dishonesty if not controlled. For the sake of being right, we sometimes are tempted to believe information that supports our current standing point and reject every information that suggests otherwise.
The overall question is, do we want to be right-only for the sake of being right? Or, do we desire to learn what is right and improve ourselves and our knowledge? Next time you find yourself in an argument or where you have to provide an opinion, remember, taking responsibility for your words and actions will increase your credibility in others’ eyes and will make them respect you more. More importantly, remember, we don’t have to have an opinion about everything. It is perfectly normal for us to be uninformed about a specific topic. If we are aware that we are uninformed, there is no need to act like we know everything there is to know.
The less we try to prove we know best to others, the more we can learn and absorb information. This approach will allow an argument where both sides feel a personal attack on their beliefs and character, to turn into a discussion that continues in a civilized manner where information and opinions can get exchanged.
