Do the best you can, and let go
How difficult is it to accept the lack of control over a specific situation or outcome? For some, the lack of control equals a lack of responsibility which is good for them. For others, even the thought of lack of control (for them, being powerless) drives them crazy. I believe there is a healthy balance between the amount of control we possess in our lives; and the lack of it.
The ancient Stoics believed that the only things we had control over were our thoughts and actions driven by them. When you think about it, it’s frightening and relieving at the same time. All this time, so many of us have lived their life with the belief that they are the only reason things happen, yet this is only true to an extent. Think of all the people who have a perfect lifestyle and yet still get a terminal disease. Think of the people who work day and night yet still aren’t able to catch a break in life. We hear success stories of hard workers, but unfortunately, this is only because nobody wants to listen to the failure stories.
Our actions certainly increase the chance of a certain outcome, yet this does not mean the result is in our hands. It is mostly random. “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity” Seneca quoted. We might not be able to see the opportunity, however, or the opportunity might not appear before us.
Just because I insist that we are not in absolute control of outcomes, does not mean I support letting everything go. It is the exact opposite.
When you look at it from another perspective, once you realize you have such little control over situations and outcomes, you can now focus your limited energy on what you do have control over. We don’t need to think about outcomes and results, for all we can do is prepare properly. All we can do is focus on the process.
Wanting something creates a reaction, a motivation to act. Not needing it however frees us from the result, allowing us to focus on the process instead of what we do not possess at the current moment. Expectations also bring disappointment with them, so being clingy on ends results can have a more negative effect on us rather than good.
An amazing exercise I have read in the book “The Practice” was the training of fishing without the hook. Removing all possibility of a result, only focusing on the practice itself, the process. When I first read this it gave me goosebumps. How beautiful is it to be able to have one thing on your mind, to do the best you can in whatever it is you do? Not expecting credit, recognition, approval, or reward only being the best you can be, doing the best you can.
The sooner we accept how little we have control over our fates, the easier it becomes to just do what is necessary. Accept and embrace the outcome after you have done the best you were able to do. The more quality work you do, the easier it becomes to accept it.
