Building something takes a lot of time and effort, losing it, however, does not need anything but a mere moment

One of the biggest misconceptions we have in life is probably the illusion of how strong a foundation to whatever it is we build stands. By this, I mean how secure and good we feel with where we are, what we have achieved, how well we are doing in life. We can easily fall into the illusion that we have worked so hard to achieve something, it is rock solid under our possession.

We say that nothing worth having is achieved without work, and I believe this to the core. Having something worthwhile and working for it, however, does not mean that it is there to last. Obviously, the more we put our heads into something, and the more effort we put into it, the longer it will last since it will have a strong foundation of knowledge and experience. That being said, however, does not dismiss the possibility that everything we have worked for can still be lost.

Fate presents itself in different ways. Sometimes it rewards us, and sometimes it doesn’t. The sooner we realize how fragile and by a thread our fate is hanging, the more we begin to appreciate the things we have, the relationships we experience, the people we know.

The thing that causes disappointment, sorrow, and heartbreak is usually the expectations we build about the things in our lives. What we will feel when we get a job, how our partner should react to an event we organized, how soon we will get promoted, how we will perform at a tournament under pressure after preparing for so long. The more we live the future in our heads, the more we are prone to disappointment. Our expectations are usually biased portraits of our thoughts on a matter. It is usually not the reflection of reality, but rather a more hopeful and optimistic ending for it.

We can always hope for the best, yet we should prepare or just think of the possibility that everything can go exactly the opposite way of what we worked to achieve. By this I don’t mean to live in anxiety expecting the worst case to happen every single time, however, it's always better to have an extra jacket if it rains or gets cold when you are going out into the wild, even if it doesn’t eventually happen.

The buildup of our expectations can sometimes confuse us with having control over certain outcomes. Sometimes our expectations will meet reality and we can assume that we knew what was going to happen or even that we deserved it. Never forget that events tend to happen in life through randomness. Not because we deserve something or are worthy, or even the exact opposite that we are being punished. The good and bad events that happen to us only have their meaning because we choose to give them those meanings. Think of a horrific event, losing your loved one, how will this news affect someone you do not know at all? Probably not too much. The devastating events for one can mean nothing to another. The same goes for events that make us happy. Events happen just because. This might seem a little too plain for some of you but think of it like this if everything happens just because it means anything can happen to anyone for no specific reason. Which is technically the case. You can go your entire life eating healthy as a non-smoker non-drinker, and yet still die of cancer. These are all possibilities.

The Stoics used two core principles to address our fragility and the randomness in our lives: The first is “Memento Mori”- which means remember death; reminding ourselves that we can leave life at any given moment. This understanding motivates us to live every single moment and experience with much more gratitude because it could be our last. The second is “ Amor Fati” — meaning to love your fate. Everything we go through, even the most horrific of experiences can teach us something. Worst case scenario it can help us understand just how precious was what we had.

These concepts were adapted because the stoics knew just how easy it was for everything to turn upside down in our lives. They understood how fragile our existences are, how our fates are not in our control, and how everything hangs by a thread.

Stay humble and cherish everything and everyone you love. Just because you worked or even earned something does not mean you are owed it or that you can’t lose it. Fate has a way of humbling us.